2012 Four-Way Test Essay

 Applying the four-way test is the right thing to do.  It makes me feel good, and it makes others feel good.  However, one thing people may be shocked to hear from a fellow do-gooder is this:  sometimes it’s really, really hard. Giving and looking out for others always feels good, but it isn’t always easy.  For some, admitting this seems like a failure.  I’m no stranger to those feelings.  Some days I wake up without that fire in me for helping people.  Some days, I’ve even been a failure, but failure isn’t lack of success.   To coin a phrase, it means I was successful at finding what wouldn’t work.  In my experiences, I’ve learned much more from the times that I have failed to apply this test than the times I have triumphed. 
 When I think back to my freshman year of high school, I can’t help but smile and shake my head at the immature student I was.  As almost everyone who attended high school has felt, I was lost, unsure of who I wanted to be, and struggling to adjust to some big changes in my life.  I had recently made the varsity team for the East High School dance team, Thunderstruck, and I couldn’t help imagining myself in that blue, black and silver uniform with a beaming smile, dancing in front of a cheering audience with lots of my friends on the team.  Unfortunately, reality is not always quite so ideal.
 I was the only freshman to make the team that year, and I had beaten out some returning members to do so.  However, I decided to continue playing volleyball, and I couldn’t join the dance team in practice until the season ended.  When I finally got to practice, they had been dancing together for the 3 months I had missed, as well as years before.  That was not starting out on the right foot.  For one, I was already lonely for someone I knew or could relate to on a team of twelve girls.  And sadly, some of them already disliked me because not only had I replaced their friends, I had been gone as well.  The older girls didn’t exactly take me under their wing.  Once, a girl even made fun of how I walk, right in front of me, not even bothering to hide it.  During some of the more cruel things they did, I applied the four-way test in whether or not to tell anyone.  “Is it the truth?”  Yes, the older girls at times said some cruel things and made me feel like an outsider on my team.  “Is it fair to all concerned?” This is where I failed for the first time.  When you are on a time, it’s very difficult to come up with a solution that will benefit everyone.  Although telling someone may have helped me, it could ultimately only make things worse when the girls found out, and put more stress on the team. “Will it build good will and better friendships?”  This is where it got even more complicated.  If I let them walk all over me, things may get worse.  But if I told anyone and they found out, things would definitely get worse.  I though perhaps if I let them get their hazing of the new kid out of the way, we could one day have a better relationship.  “Will it be beneficial?”  This is where I once again failed.  I put everyone else’s comfort on the team before helping myself, not looking to help the team’s relationship as a whole or anyone else who had been bullied by these same girls.  Letting myself continue to be torn down day after day would never be beneficial to anyone, including the bullies.
 As the dance season went on, things started to get better.  I was dancing harder than I ever had in my life to make up for lost time and a tiny part of me was optimistically feeling like a part of the team.  The coach had already made the cuts before the season, so every member was working especially hard for State.  That’s when the choreographer dropped a bomb on us:  two girls wouldn’t be performing at State.  The members of the varsity team were required to re-audition for a spot on the State team.  The day of auditions I was a wreck.  I was supposed to audition with a senior as just a freshman, and to say I was nervous was a vast understatement.  During the audition, I did everything I could to make sure I was at my absolute best.  During the tallying of scores, one older girl who had warmed up to me had even said she had a suspicion they would send everyone.  Now, I wish I had never heard her.  When all twelve of us sat in a circle holding hands as we listened to the results, I thought I might die of anticipation.  As they read the list,”Adrianna…Becca…Britany…Erin…Haley…Jenna…Marina…Sarah…Steph,” my heart sank as I realized my name wasn’t among them.  My emotions were in a tumult.  I felt sad, rejected, angry and above all, inadequate.  These feelings were a breeding ground for bitterness.  As I continued to practice and perfect a dance I knew I would never be able to perform, I couldn’t help feeling angrier and angrier at the entire situation.  Every time a coach would give me a correction, all I could think was “What does it matter?”  Needless to say, this was not a moment where my ability to apply the four-way test shone as a testament to my maturity.  Unfortunately, my attitude took an even longer time to adjust enough to apply the four-way test.
 The next year on the team, things were really looking up.  All those seniors who had made my first year so awful were gone and I had really made a good bond with the other girls.  Unfortunately, we were once again in for another bombshell:  our coach was quitting.  Just when I finally felt like there was a place for me and I was making progress, I had to start all over again with a new coach.  Luckily, a local dance teacher who had choreographed the state routine two years earlier quickly filled the coaching spot.  Unfortunately, I was once again on the outside because I was the only dancer who hadn’t been there two years ago.
 From the get-go, I couldn’t help but get the feeling that this new coach didn’t like me very much.  Perhaps it was in my imagination, but she definitely didn’t seem to warm up to me like she did to the others.  Playing volleyball had once again put me in a position where I came into the season late and had to make up for lost time, a fact that no doubt antagonized this new coach.  When Homecoming rolled around, I was ecstatic to perform in another pep rally.  Unfortunately, I got very ill the week before; although I missed school, I managed to drag myself to watch practice while the rest of the team cleaned the dance.  I sat out two practices, and then forced myself to join the team again.  I worked with the captains during lunch, before practice, and after practice just to catch up and clean the routine.  They built my confidence by telling me I was ready, and I felt good about the quality of my performance for the upcoming rally.  Then, right before the pep rally , the coach and choreographer pulled another girl aside with me to tell us that she felt we had missed too many practices; we wouldn’t be performing at the pep rally, but would sit out and watch.  I was shocked and hurt.  As I sat there listening, I couldn’t help wonder exactly how many more blows my ego could take.  I was sick of being the underdog, and being cut from the State team was still a very painful memory.  Angry and hurt, I called my mom crying to tell her what had happened, and shared my disappointment with my team, failing the four-way test once again.  “Is it the truth?” Yes, she cut me from the dance and I felt like a target once again.  “Is it fair to all concerned?” It most definitely wasn’t fair to me for her to cut me from the rally, especially when I had made up the time and perfected the dance.  But it may not have been fair for me to be upset with my coach, either.  She was instituting a new attendance policy and needed someone to be the example.  “Will it build goodwill and friendships?”  Telling the team what had happened created animosity.  They strongly disagreed with her decision and I put them in a situation that made them choose, which certainly didn’t build good will and better friendships.  “Will it be beneficial?” I thought perhaps by calling my mom and the team, my coach would see that she was being unfair, but despite how loudly my teammates and I disagreed with her, she stuck to her policy.  All my complaints did was upset a precarious situation and further damage the relationship my coach and I had.
 I was hurt and angry.  I thought about quitting the team right then and there, out of spite.  I wanted to act selfishly and fight back by quitting the team and letting my coach be short a dancer and leader, but a different part of me knew this was not who I was.  Quitting wasn’t fair to anyone on the team or myself.  Neither was complaining behind my coach’s back, and getting my teammates to support me over my coach.  After talking it through with my mom and my teammates, I realized that no matter how upset I was, quitting wasn’t the right thing to do.  I began applying the four-way test again, this time the right way.  I’m not the kind of girl who quits anything in the middle of the season, and I didn’t like the person I was becoming.  It was time for me to be mature.  I picked up my bruised ego and waked back into next week’s practice with my head held high, determined to start over again and build goodwill for my team.  I respected my coach’s wishes and cheered my teammates on from the sidelines at the pep rally, knowing I was doing the right thing this time. 
 As we worked toward State, I continued to repair some of the bridges I had brunt and the relationships in which I had caused stress.  For one, I had to lead by example and respect my coach.  The gossip and anger over my treatment behind her back had to stop.  I told the girls who looked to me as their leader that it wasn’t fair for us to treat her the way we were and even if we didn’t agree with her decisions, she was still in charge.  I danced with perfection as my goal, working harder than I ever had to impress my coach and to show her she could count on me.  I stayed after practice to help younger girls perfect the routine, and helped others to catch up if they were absent so they wouldn’t have to sit out like I did.  Biting my tongue was not always easy, but the scope of my vision had expanded to include everyone on the team who looked to me as a leader; not just myself.  I became a leader to be proud of, and I danced my hardest with my teammates and my coach.  As the team went on to state, we worked extremely hard on our routines and finished with a higher score than we had ever had.  Once I was finally able to apply the four-way test with success, I found peace with a painful situation and I was able to help shape my team into the winners I knew we could be. 

Biographical Sketch
Madeline Brantz
Achievements and School Activities
• National Honor Society President – current
• Senior Student Council Representative – current
• Rotary Student of the Month – January 2012
• Girls State Representative – June 2011
• Earned East High School letters in:  Choir, Theater, Academics and Dance Team
• Junior captain of the dance team
• JETS/TEAM=S Competitor
• State drama participant; first place winner
• Choreographer and female lead role in spring musical
• Elite Jazz choir member
• Concert Choir member
• All Northwest ACDA choir member
• All State Choir member
• National ACDA choir member

Community Activities

• Church childcare service
• Church drama team
• Assistant choreographer of the Old Fashioned Melodrama, 2010-2012
• HOBY Hugh O-Brian Youth Leadership member, 2010
• Beginnings Broadway production workshop, New York City, 2011
• Advanced Beginnings workshop, New York City, 2012
• Dance instruction, En Avant Dance Studio

Hobbies

• Cinematography and video editing
• Dance Classes
• Musical Theater
• Singing
• Photography
• Creative writing
• Reading
• Knitting

Employment History

• Hostess at Jackson’s Sports Bar and Grill current since June 2011

Cumulative GPA

• 4.0 (unweighted) with classes in Advanced Placement and International Baccalaureate